Today is Friday, my last post for a while, and our orders of the day are to share something funny. So...
May I tell you something funny (and terribly embarrassing)?
Okay, I think it's funny now, but I was mortified when it happened. You may think it's funny, or you may just think I'm a silly gal who made a rookie mistake and should have known better, and that's fine, too. I've made peace with it. What's done is done.
So...a while back I happened upon a list of different agents who were doing different pitch contests, mostly to win critiques or a prize package. Because I always like to stay on top of industry happenings, I started clicking around, and noticed there were a few I could enter. Amongst the list was a well-known children's literature agency, and another was a well-known erotic publisher. Both just happened to be doing pitch contests for prize packages/books, and in their rules it said the pitch could even be something made up. So, I figured what the heck? It would help sharpen my pitch skills.
Both had pop-up menus which I popped up, just to see what had been submitted already.
Getting an inkling as to where this is headed yet?
I decide to make up the children's one first (or MG, in this case, which they accepted), clicked open the reply popup already open on my screen and posted. Then I made up the erotic NA pitch (which they accepted) and posted that in the other menu popup.
Anyways, it's midnight, I'm exhausted, and have to be up at five. So, I turn off the computer and go to bed. Five o'clock comes around. I change my son's diaper, get him a bottle, then sit down to check my email. Five a. m. here is eight a.m. on the east cost, where the children's lit agency is located, and I receive an email from one of the agent's assistants...thanking me kindly for my submission, but letting me know that they were forced to delete it because my post was deemed inappropriate.
I frowned for a second, still half-asleep, wondering what was inappropriate about my pitch? I thought it was kind of a sweet concept.
And then the most horrible thought occurred to me: Oh, no. I didn't...did I?
My heart starts pounding, the blood starts rushing in my ears, my fingers start tingling, my buttcheeks clench tight, and my throat closes up. I start furiously opening windows so I can go check on the pitch I made to the erotic publisher.
|DOH! Image from fuzzykitteh.deviantart.com|
And then I see it. Head-meet-desk. I'm thinking: oh, no. No, no, no, no! Oh, but I did. I posted the children's pitch to the erotic publisher, and the erotic pitch to the children's lit agency. And both threads had a few posts before and after me, and both of my pitches even drew attention in the comments in the few short hours they were online, indicating my post was either inappropriate or I was in wrong place. I quickly "removed" my post (because we know they can't be deleted, and my face was still staring back at me), turned off the computer, drew my knees up to my chest, and stared at it for a few minutes, scared it was going to grow teeth and bite me.
I was mortified...and people had seen it! I can never submit to either of these places again, now, with the fear that they'll recognize my last name (I just submitted under C. DeLorenzo, instead of Jaycee) and associate my submission with the idiot who posted wildly inappropriate pitches for their contest.
I know, unlikely, but DeLorenzo isn't exactly an every-day name you see all the time.
Anyways, can I just say a very valuable lesson was learned that day: Always check-check-double-check my posts before I reply to something on a blog, especially a publisher's/agent's blog. Thank god I was signed into both blogs under just C. DeLorenzo instead of Jaycee DeLorenzo.
BTW: I wish I could share the pitches, but I didn't have extra copies. Here's a basic rundown of them:
The erotic was essentially a college good-girl whose wild roommate was sick of her moping after being dumped my her perfect boyfriend, and convinces her to go out to one of her hard-core dance clubs, where she runs into a black-leather, tattooed bad-boy from her class who'd she'd been secretly lusting after for months, but would never approach. He approaches her, and she's feeling adventurous and well...they have a wild night together. It was written much better than this and much more descriptive of what their wild night entailed.
The other was about a MG girl who finds a journal after school one day that details the secret and troubling home life of one of her classmates, but doesn't name names, so she sets out to discover who the owner of the journal, wanting to help this person, only to find out it belongs to the one girl she hates most in the entire school, and the feeling is mutual. She still feels compelled to help, though, and has to somehow earn the other girl's trust.
You get the gist. Imagine how these looked on the wrong blogs...
Hope this story made you smile, made you thank your lucky stars you didn't make this kind of mistake...and hopefully now, you never will!
I'll be posting again next month. Next week, you get to hear from the lovely Juliana!
Have a great weekend!